kristin has been a bad kristin
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
