I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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