My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
