I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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