Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
