Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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