So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
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remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
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It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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