when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
