Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
