love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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