my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So here I am, sexting at work.
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