We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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