My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
