did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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