Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
