That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
