You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize