Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
