OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
