we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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