Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
