I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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