after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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