Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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