Do you still have your period?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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