using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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