do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
