in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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