you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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