we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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