Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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