the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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