bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
