FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
