The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
