Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
