You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
