I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Randomize
