Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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