Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
