i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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