Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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