I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
