So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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