so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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