You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
