Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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