erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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