You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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