Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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