I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
