Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
