yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
