White coat. Heels.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize