batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
