pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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