ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
