i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
