If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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