hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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