I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
