no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize