come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's official drugs can't kill me
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
