I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
