it wasn't lemon gatorade
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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